More to Life
by Merula
Summary: OOC, AU. A 1x2 story. Duo has to leave the scrapyard and moves in with Heero. Complete.
1. Duo

Disclaimer: Gundam Wing is not mine. This is a fluff piece that I was working on and posting in my LJ that suddenly decided it wanted to be taken seriously… If you were following it there- it was called Big Bed.

1x2 eventually...

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I walked into the office knowing that Heero would already be there before me. I wasn't disappointed. My partner was already there, typing away on the mission report that Une wanted later that day.

"Have a good evening?" I asked him as I did every morning. I knew his response by heart. It never varied.

"Fine. Yours?" Yep. Always fine. The man never had a crisis.

"Ah, pretty good. Hilde had to work late again, so I made dinner and watched some TV til she got home." I drummed my fingers on my desk waiting for my computer to boot up. "I was hoping we'd be able to go out and look at dresses for her, but she didn't get home in time." Hilde never got home on time anymore. I knew the yard was busy, but this was kinda ridiculous.

"Well, maybe you can try tonight. Stop by her office and pick her up," Heero suggested. "That's what Fei finally did with Relena when she kept getting caught up in work." I blinked. Huh, why hadn't I thought of that? I guess that's what partners were for.

"That's a good idea. Though he did it what- six months before the wedding? Ours is only a month away. We're running out of time." I sighed without meaning to.

"What's wrong?" Heero's fingers paused in his typing.

"Oh nothing..." I waved my hand in the air. "It's really nothing."

"Somehow I don't believe you." He turned and faced me, folding his hands on his desktop and giving me his best glare. "Out with it partner." Heero really is a good friend. He may not share a lot of personal stuff with me, but he does listen. That's a rare trait in anyone. "Duo?" He lifted an eyebrow and I relented.

"It's just... Hilde doesn't seem very excited about getting married." That seemed to be a massive understatement. My fiancée never seemed to want to talk about the wedding. "When I first asked her she was all happy and couldn't wait to get things ready, and now the closer it gets the less she wants to talk about it." I paused and took a deep breath. "That's not normal is it? I mean, Relena was much more... excited."

That was an understatement. Relena had called Hilde everyday, sometimes twice to get opinions on flowers, cakes, what have you, and to make sure that we'd gotten our tuxes, that Fei had gotten his... I remember dreading to answer the phone for a while there. But she had been so happy that it had been hard not to talk to her. Her joy in being able to marry Fei had made her light up like a candle. A crazy, insane kind of candle, but it was still sweet, I supposed. Now that they had been married for nearly a year she was much calmer. But Hilde was the opposite. She seemed to get depressed whenever the subject came up.

"It's like she doesn't want to get married." I finished. Heero's glare had disappeared.

"Well, Relena is a lot different that Hilde is." He offered and I had to agree. "Besides, you and Hilde have been living together for what- two, three years? Ever since the end of Mariamaia. It's not that big a change." Okay, another good point. But still...

"I guess you're right." I smiled for him. I wasn't going to be able to solve this problem right now. But it did make me think of something else.

"So, when are we getting an invite for your wedding?" I asked him with a grin, signaling that I was finished 'sharing' with him this morning.

"Never," He snorted at me.

"Ah, c'mon Heero." I coaxed. "You could at least try to date. I know some nice girls, and Q's got several sisters that think you're gorgeous. Why don't you ever try?"

"I told you why," He turned back to his computer. "I'm just not interested in that sort of thing."

"Not at all?" This was a conversation we'd had before.

"No," He replied with his pre-scripted line. "I'm just not cut out for it." I usually let it go at that, but this morning I didn't feel like it.

"Why do you think that, Heero? You always say that. Why aren't you cut out for a relationship? Don't you have all the normal desires of guys our age? Aren't you interested..."

"No." He flipped open a file folder and pulled up the program he needed. "We have work to do, Duo. Let's get to it." That was his way of telling me that I needed to back the hell off. Curiosity lingered, but I realized that it would have to be satisfied at another time.

"One of these days you're going to have to explain it to me," I warned him and left it at that.

The day passed normally enough. We did the research we needed to on one of our cases and went out to do some legwork as well. Heero told me to leave a bit early so that I could go get Hilde and go look at dresses. 'Surprise her' was his phrase.

I'm afraid Hilde was the one who ended up surprising me.

"Duo?" Hilde looked up from the papers on her desk when I leaned in the door and said her name. "What are you doing here?"

"I came to steal you. We're getting married in less than a month Hilde, you need a dress."

She didn't smile, not at first. I saw the look that flashed over her face before she hid it with a smile. She got to her feet, but I stepped into her office and closed the door behind me.

"I think we need to talk."

I went to our house afterwards- Hilde's house now I supposed - and packed my things. Hilde stayed at the office, and I was grateful for her absence.

I didn't take any of the things we had bought together. That just seemed wrong somehow. I left Hilde a note on the counter, telling her to forward my mail to the Preventers and wishing her well.

Then I went to Heero's.

I stood in the hallway outside of his door and realized that the last time I had been here had been when I'd helped him move in. Heero had been over at our place many times- nearly once a week since Hilde liked having him over for dinner. He always volunteered to help her with the dishes- unlike me. That thought made me cringe. There had apparently been quite a few things that I hadn't done...

I had to take a deep breath before I rang the bell. My control was going to fail me and soon. I hoped Heero was home.

He was, and I felt a rush of relief. He answered the door, dressed in sweats and a T-shirt, cats twining around his feet. His eyes widened at the sight of me. I was distracted for a moment. Heero Yuy had cats? And Siamese cats at that.

"Duo?" He stood to the side and gestured me in. "What is it? What's happened?"

"Hey Heero, mind if I bunk here for a while?" I had to get the details out of the way. Heero took the suitcase away from me and closed the door.

"Of course not." He tugged me further into his apartment and pushed me in the direction of the couch. I sat down and instantly had two cats climbing up next to me. "Lia, Liam- leave him alone."

The freaky creatures actually looked over at him and meowed as if they understood him. "You can smell him later. Scat." They jumped down and Heero sat next to me. "What happened Duo?"

"I might have to stay for a while..." I didn't really want to do this. But he needed an explanation.

"Surely Hilde won't be mad at you for that long. Did something happen when you went to go looking for dresses?"

"We never went." My hands suddenly hurt and I realized that I had dug my nails into my palms.

"What?" Heero blinked in surprise. "Duo- what happened?" I heard the thread of worry in his voice.

"Hilde doesn't want to marry me." I was shaking. Why was I shaking? People break up everyday right? No big deal.

Just another person in my life who decided that I wasn't worth the effort. Just another person walking away from me. Why? Oh, I know things hadn't been great between us, but I had been trying. Even Hilde admitted as much...

Heero reached out, and to my complete and utter surprise, pulled me into his arms, enclosing me in a tight hug. I leaned into him and finally let myself release control. Heero was there to cover my back.

"Oh Duo..." He said softly and then just held onto me. The words came pouring out of me without my permission, but it was okay. This was Heero after all.

"I just didn't know what else to do. She said that she just fell out of love with me. She didn't know how to tell me and she didn't want to hurt me but the closer the wedding got the more she just started- dreading it..." The words tumbled out in a fast moving stream. "The house is hers and I don't ever want to go back. I don't know what to do..."

"You can stay as long as you like." Heero told me. "Don't even worry about it." It sounds beyond stupid, but it was reassuring. As fucked up as my life was at the moment, I'd take any reassurance I could get.

I don't know how long he sat there with me. He never showed any signs of impatience or of being uncomfortable. I was the one who finally sat up, trying to pull myself back together.

"Hungry?" He asked me.

"Not really. Tired though." Heero's sofa was small, more of a love seat than a sofa and the thought of trying to curl up on it was not a pleasant one. If I didn't dread being alone I would've gone to a hotel.

"C'mon then," Heero got to his feet and picked up my suitcase. I followed him down a short hallway and into the bedroom.

"I don't want to put you out of your..." I paused at the sight of the monstrosity before me. Heero's bed took up most of the bedroom. It was huge. Had to be custom made. What did he do with a bed that size?

"You won't. I think there's space for us to share."

"There's space for you, me and the rest of the pilots. Why..." I stopped. Did I really want to know?

"It came with the apartment. The last tenant left it and I think no one wanted to try and move it out." He put my suitcase down. "Bathroom is behind that door. Help yourself to whatever you need. I still have some things to do."

I understood that he was giving me the time he knew I needed to collect myself again.

"Thanks Heero. I really appreciate this."

"It's no problem, Duo. Get some rest. I'll be in later."

He left and his cats decided to join me. They sat on the bed and watched me. When I finally climbed under the covers, they curled up near me, little purring pools of warmth that were somehow comforting.

It took me a long time to fall asleep.

The next morning, I awoke, blinking sleepy eyes and brushing dark hair out of my face. It wasn't an unusual way to wake up. I usually spooned up behind Hilde when she slept. I dropped a kiss on top of her head, let go of her and rolled over.

And realized, when I didn't fall out of bed, that I wasn't in my bed.

Oh shit.

I looked over my shoulder to find Heero wide awake and blinking.

"Uh... I'm really sorry... I thought... I mean... I'm used to..." Heero smirked and I relaxed a little bit. He didn't look like he was going to kill me.

"It's okay," he replied, a ripple of amusement in his voice. "When you grabbed me last night I realized that you were used to sleeping with someone else. I tried to get you to let go, but..."

"I know..." Hilde used to complain that I had a grip like a lobster. Hanging on tight and not letting go. "I am sorry."

"Relax Duo," he sat up and yawned. "Just don't kiss me again, okay?"

"Okay," I promised, easily enough.

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So, we fell into a kind of routine. One that I knew Heero wasn't too happy about. We'd get up, go to work, come home and I'd go to bed. I liked Heero's bed. It was warm, big, and had two cats to cuddle with in it. It was easy to just stay under the covers until it was time for work again.

Heero tried to get me to be interested in something else after a few days. He suggested TV shows, asked me to help him with dinner, made me go to the gym with him by simply driving us straight there after work. I knew he was worried, but I couldn't help it.

Then he pulled out the big guns. He called Quatre and invited him over without telling me.

First I knew about it was when a weight joined me on the bed at an early hour. Heero didn't go to bed until late. I looked out and found my blond friend smiling at me. Damn Heero.

"Hiding out Duo?" Quatre asked.

"Low blow," I grumbled back. "What are you doing here?"

"I came to see you. Heero said you were spending all your time in bed." He leaned back on the pillows with his cheerful smile in place. There was no way in hell I was going to get him to budge anytime soon. "Though it is a very comfortable bed."

"That's what I said. So what's wrong with spending time in it? Heero hardly knows I'm here." Well, except for the fact that I tended to wrap myself around him every night.

At least I had stopped kissing him.

"Heero wouldn't notice a cheerleading squad in here." Quatre commented. "What is he doing with such a big bed?"

I grinned. "He says it came with the apartment."

"Really?" Quatre's smile turned slightly depraved. Then his expression changed again. "You doing okay?"

"No," I sat up, putting my arms around my knees. "The girl dumped me Quatre. No more fairy-tale happy ending for me."

Quatre thwapped me on the back of the head.

"And this would be the girl that you got into huge fights with at least twice a month?"

"Uh..."

"The one that didn't understand your fascination for bad action films? The one that tossed your comics collection?"

"Quatre!"

"The one that you felt bad about not caring for enough?"

Okay, empath or not, that was a low blow. I scowled at him. Two could play this game.

"I thought that I finally had a home, you know? A place to belong? A family?" Answer that!

"You do have a place you belong." Quatre snapped back. "Just because it doesn't include the yard and Hilde doesn't mean you've lost that."

Bastard looked smug now.

"Think about it Duo. You still have your job. You still have your friends- and we might as well count as family after all we've been through together. All you've lost, and I'm not trying to say it wasn't worth anything, was one romantic relationship that really wasn't working anyway. Both you and Hilde deserve better than that."

"So I'm being silly?"

"No Duo. But it's time to get out of bed. You've got a life to get on with. Hiding won't solve anything."

"You really should be on top of a mountain somewhere," I told Quatre without any heat. He did have a point. "Dispensing wisdom and all that."

Quatre put his arm around my shoulders and gave me a brief hug. "So, does that mean I'm going to find a goat in my bedroom some night soon as an 'offering'?"

"Tro would feed it to his lions." I countered and Quatre chuckled.

"Speaking of which, he and Heero are in the kitchen with pizza. Don't suppose we can tempt you to come out and join us?"

Of course I went. Can't say no to Quatre. I don't think anyone can- stubborn little bastard.

He knew of course that the minute I started to get depressed about my failed relationship that my brain would also remind me of everything he said. I trusted Q to level with me, and I trusted his opinion. Fair enough.

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The next night after we got home from work, I made myself stay out in the living room. It was easier than I expected. Heero had a great bookshelf and he didn't care what music I played as long as it wasn't too loud.

Heero sat down at his computer after dinner, and though I caught one or two relieved glances my way, he mostly focused on the screen in front of him. It was almost like being back at that school with him during the war.

After awhile though I had to wonder what he was doing. He wasn't surfing the 'net, as far as I could tell.

"What are you doing?" I finally asked, getting up off the sofa to go lean over his chair like I used to.

"Programming." Programming? We didn't do any of that kind of stuff with the Preventers.

"For what?"

"Security, financial institution." Heero replied. I rolled my eyes. This was like playing twenty questions.

"Why?"

"It's my other job."

"Other job?" I blinked. Why would Heero need another job? "The Preventers doesn't keep you busy enough?" I sat down on the floor next to his desk and Lia began to wind around me. The cats really liked me for some reason. Trowa had told me that it was my braid- they thought I was one of them. With my tail in the wrong place of course...

"We only work 50 or so hours a week there Duo. I need to fill my time somehow. So I take independent programming work."

Only Heero would need to 'fill his time' like this. Boy was lucky I had moved in with him.

"Fill your time?" I shook my head at him. "There are other ways than working. It's not like you need the money."

"This is more fulfilling." I heard him sigh.

"Fulfilling? Don't you like the Preventers?"

"Not really." Okay, this was surreal. Heero didn't like the Preventers? Then why the hell... "I'm there because it's where I needed to be. They needed trained agents- you needed a partner. It's not really what I want to do."

"You could quit." I suggested. Heero shook his head.

"Why? They still need agents, you still need a partner, and it's not like I hate it. I just prefer this, that's all."

"So, this is relaxing for you?"

"Yes, I guess you could say that."

I sat for a long moment, watching Heero work. Never, in all this time would I have guessed that Heero didn't like his job. He did it so well, after all.

"Why didn't you tell me before?"

"You didn't ask. Plus, it's not that important." Heero shrugged. For a moment, I was hurt. Then I realized that Heero was not being snappy- merely matter-of-fact. I hadn't ever asked what he had thought about our jobs, and if he saw the Preventers as something he had to do, like it or not, he wouldn't see the fact that he disliked it as important.

"You know, most people wouldn't see this as a relaxing activity."

"I'm not most people." True again.

"You could date."

"I told you..." I heard him sigh again.

"I know. 'Not cut out for it.' Why aren't you cut out for dating?" Heero turned his head slightly to meet my eyes. "Heero- I asked- and we're here, alone, not at work. Explain it to me?"

It was his turn to sit silently for a long moment. His fingers had stopped moving over the keys, and I saw a shadow of...something... flicker over his face. What was going on?

"You know you can tell me anything, Heero," I encouraged him.

He turned his chair around to face me. "Duo- I'm sure I've mentioned that I was trained by an assassin when I was younger? Grew up with him?"

"Yes." I nodded encouragingly.

"And then I got recruited by J for his training."

I nodded again. Then a little light bulb went on. So that's what it was! Well, for goodness sakes, he could've told me sooner!

"I get it!" I interrupted him, otherwise I was sure we'd be here all night. "You don't like girls!"

He blinked and looked puzzled.

"What are you talking about? I'm friends with several girls..." I shook my head at him.

"I mean you'd rather date guys. So why don't you?"

Heero closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

"No, Duo. I wouldn't rather date guys. " Okay, he was totally stumping me on this one. Not girls, not guys. There wasn't much else left.

"Explain."

"I'm trying." Heero flushed, to my surprise. This really was hard for him. "Look Duo- that training... well, it included a lot of things. Some of them not very pleasant. It- had an effect on me, okay?"

That couldn't mean...? J and Odin should be glad that they were dead. Otherwise, I'd kill them.

"Those bastards!" I slammed my fist hard against the floor. Heero blinked.

"They were just doing their jobs..."

"Some job!"

"But it's all part of the training."

"It wasn't part of mine!"

"Well, of course not. You didn't start until you were older. And I was trained for different things."

"It's still not right!"

Heero studied me for a long moment. "Duo- what do you think my training entailed? I have a feeling we aren't on the same page here..."

When I told him, I thought he would spontaneously combust.

Then he nearly died laughing.

"It's not that funny." I grumbled at him.

"Trust me. I did not have sex with J or Odin." That made him grin again.

"Quit laughing." I frowned at him.

"Sorry, Duo, but I've never heard it called the horizontal tango, nor has anyone told me that they thought I had sex with J. You know he couldn't right?"

"Huh?"

"Duo- the man was all mechanical- fake arm, fake leg, fake eyes... that part was gone too. He said he could think clearer without all those hormones."

My eyes widened.

"He didn't do that to..."

Heero blinked. "No."

Oh whew. That could've been really really bad.

"Okay. I am going to shut up and you are going to explain it to me."

Heero sighed; pulled one leg up on his chair and rested his chin on his knee. "All right."

"I'll even be quiet all the way through this time," I said, feeling like I was at school with Heero on his chair and me on the floor. Course, I'm sure this never came up in a grade-school classroom.

"Odin taught me that to let someone into your life was a hazard. A lover could be used against you. He told me that numerous times- he was fond of me- but if I was captured then he'd leave me behind without a second thought. I could not be his weakness."

I nodded. I could see that- but still- what kind of thing was that to say to a child? Even one that you were training to be an assassin? Then again- had Odin ever really considered Heero to be a child? Sheesh, and if he had taught Heero not to let anyone get too close, but then told him to follow his emotions...

That fit with Heero's personality though. I could remember Heero walking into my cell with his gun out, ready to kill me- and then rescuing me. It certainly explained how he had dealt with Relena during the war.

While my brain was running off on this tangent, Heero was still talking. I caught up right when he said:

"...use sex as a weapon."

"WHAT!" Oops, I wasn't supposed to talk. Heero shook his head.

"I said, J taught me that one could use sex as a weapon. To hurt someone, to get them to do what you wanted, to manipulate them to your viewpoint... It was an sloppy but effective tactic if mastered well."

J would see it that way. No wonder he'd been happier as a eunuch. But wait a moment...

"Did he... uh... did you have to learn that in a hands-on kind of way?" What would those lessons have been like?

My brain nearly melted at the thought. Not to mention other parts of me.

Whoa! I had put those feelings behind me years ago... I shook myself and looked up to see Heero eyeing me strangely.

"Well, it's not like you could learn it all from books," he said, and I noticed he was slightly red.

"Never mind," I shook my head. "I get the picture." Not that I wanted to. "So- that's why you don't date?"

"That's why. I don't want to hurt anyone- and I'm afraid that I would." Heero looked slightly sad for a moment.

"I don't think you would if you didn't want to," I said reassuringly. "You've always had good control Heero..."

"But what if I lost control? And how would it feel to have to constantly hold myself back all the time? Wouldn't the other person know and resent that I couldn't let myself go like that?"

Okay, he had me there.

"I- guess so." I wished I had something better to say. My best friend had just told me that he hated his job and that he was afraid of being in a relationship and all I could do was sit here like an idiot. Couldn't I do something to help him? But what?

Heero got up and out of the chair. His hand touched the top of my head gently. "Thanks Duo."

"For what?"

"Listening," he walked towards the kitchen. "You're the only one who ever has." I turned to look at him, stunned. "Want a soda? I'm going to have some coffee."

"I'll have some too." I got to my feet to follow him, determined now to help him.

Somehow.


	2. Heero

Disclaimer: Gundam Wing is not mine.

Thank you to everyone that reviewed! Hugs to all of you.

Heero's POV:

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Duo yawned again. He was staring at his computer, his eyes wide and glassy looking. I wasn't surprised, he had left the apartment before I had this morning, claiming that he needed to go in and do some work.

It was now way past the end of our shift. And he was still here.

I knew I should've been too, but I was getting worried about Duo. He had seemed okay after Quatre's visit. Almost normal. And then this obsession with work started.

Duo has never been a slacker. It's one of the reasons I like having him as my partner. He always does his part of the work. But now he seemed determined to do all of mine too. Was this another type of depression? Quatre had warned me that Duo would still be susceptible to them.

How long had he been like this? A few weeks? As I thought back, I was startled to realize that Duo had been staying with me for over four months now.

Not that I wanted him to leave. Duo was a considerate roommate- not messy, and my cats loved him. Other than the tendency to wrap himself around me when he slept, I had no complaints there. He had been paying rent since he moved in and he mentioned looking for an apartment of his own every few days or so.

I never pushed it since I didn't really want him to leave. Plus, apartments were scarce in our city these days. It really made more sense for him to stay with me.

Speaking of home, I wanted to go there. And I wanted my exhausted looking friend to leave as well. Duo's eyes had big dark circles under them and I wanted to get him home, fed and in bed before he collapsed.

"Duo, it's time to go home," I said.

No answer.

"Duo?"

Nothing.

"Duo? Duo!" I leaned over the desk and waved my hand in his face.

"Heero?" He blinked and looked up at me. "What?"

"It's time to go home. I can finish that report tomorrow." I told him, truly worried now.

"Nah, it's okay. You go home, I'll do it now." He turned back to the screen and yelped when I reached over and hit the shutdown key.

"Duo- your shift's been finished for over an hour now and all you've done is stare at that screen."

"An hour?" He sounded surprised. "Why didn't you go home? I know you have that one contract to finish..."

"I was waiting for you. I started the prelim on the L4 case."

"Heero- I told you I'd do that." He frowned.

"I had the time." I countered and pulled him out of his chair.

"But it was my job..." he protested. "I can do it. You go home..."

"You are coming with me," I said firmly. "You're working yourself into a shadow. You need to rest." He yawned again and looked chagrined.

"Okay. I can come in tomorrow early..."

"We have tomorrow off," I snapped, scooping up his jacket and pulling him out of the office. "You are going to rest."

Duo continued to protest all the way down to the car. I steered him towards my car, and he was too tired to remember that he had brought his.

He fell asleep on the way home, waking briefly when we got there. I managed to get him to the bed before he passed out again.

He was exhausted. Damn it, I should have done something about this sooner. How long had I not noticed him overworking himself?

I went to the phone to call Quatre.

"Heero!" He answered on the first ring. "You got my message?"

"Actually, no," I told him. "I just got home. What's wrong?" Quatre was frowning and that was never good.

"Where's Duo?"

"Sleeping. He's been working himself into the ground. I called because you told me that he might slip back into his depression and I wondered if that could be a sign..."

"Are you two especially busy?"

"No. He's been doing all of his work and as much of mine as he can steal. I'm not sure how long he's been doing it for," I admitted.

"Well, you're a workaholic too, Heero. If you're noticing something, then it's bad," Quatre said, matter of factly.

"He's exhausted." I told him. "I brought him home and he passed right out."

"Damn it," Quatre sighed. "This isn't good."

"Why? What else is going on?"

"Hilde got married."

"What?" I blinked. "But she and Duo- it's only been four months!"

"She met the guy about a month ago. Head over heels according to Cathy. They got married three days ago."

This was going to kill Duo. Damn it.

"Do you want me to come and tell him?"

"Do we have to tell him?" I countered.

"If we don't he might find it out another way, when we aren't there to help."

"Good point." I took a deep breath. "I'll tell him tomorrow. We have the day off. Can you visit?"

"I'll make time." Quatre nodded. "Sure you don't want me to tell him?"

I hesitated. Why did I want to tell Duo? Quatre would be better at it by far, but... somehow I just...

I shook myself.

"No, I'll do it. You'll have to deal with the aftereffects."

"So will you," Quatre smiled. "You're a good friend Heero. I know Duo appreciates you."

"Hopefully he'll remember that after I tell him. Good night Quatre."

I went back to the bedroom and looked at my sleeping friend. Duo was huddled in on himself, scrunched up into a small space on my large bed. He was frowning in his sleep, and I wondered if he was having some kind of upsetting dream.

Yawning, I decided my computer projects could wait a day. I was going to need all the sleep I could get.

I got ready for bed, doing one last perimeter check before sliding under the covers.

No sooner had I gotten settled under the covers than Duo slid closer and cuddled up to my back. I glanced back at him before I turned out the light, and was surprised to see that Duo's frown was gone. His lips were curved in a contented smile. The bad dream must have faded into something happier. I was glad. I turned off the lights and settled down into the bed, Duo a warm weight against me.

I had turned the alarm off so I was sure that Duo would sleep in. I was wrong. I awoke to an empty bed and the sound of the front door closing. What the hell? I jumped out of bed, ran through the apartment and pulled open the front door.

Duo was standing in front of the elevator, a few feet from our door.

"What the hell are you doing?" I demanded.

Duo blinked. "I'm going in to work."

"We have the day off." I snapped.

"I have some stuff to do." He waved his hand in the air. "I won't be there all day, I promise!"

I can't really tell him in the hallway that he needs to stay home so I can tell him that his ex-fiancée is married. What to do?

Maybe...

"And how are you getting to work?" Duo blinked again.

"I'm going to drive," he said slowly, as if talking to a child.

"You aren't taking my car." I told him smugly. I had him now!

"I wasn't planning on it." The elevator dinged and the doors slid open. "I'm taking mine." He stepped onto the elevator. I leaned against the doorframe and crossed my arms.

"It's still at HQ, you know."

He stepped off the elevator.

"What?"

"You didn't drive it home last night. I drove you home. We left your car there."

The elevator doors slid closed as Duo stared at me.

"I don't remember that..."

"Which should prove to you that you need a day off." I pointed out.

He frowned. "But you're going to be working on that program all day. If you're going to work you could lend me your car..."

"I'm not." I interrupted him. "I'm taking the day off. I need my car today."

For what, I had no idea. Running errands maybe? But the grocery store was in walking distance... what did I need the car for? Maybe he wouldn't ask?

"You have plans for today?"

Damn it. Think fast...

"Well, I was hoping we could go do something. A movie or something..."

Duo was looking surprised. I guess I really am a workaholic.

"But that project..." He protested.

"Isn't due until next week." I straightened up and stepped backwards into the apartment. "C'mon Duo, let's take a day off okay? I'll buy you breakfast to start with..."

Duo was still giving me an odd look, but I managed to get him back inside the apartment. I hoped he wouldn't try to sneak off while I was getting ready, but it there wasn't any good way of keeping an eye on him while I was showering and getting dressed.

Luckily, he was still on the sofa, flipping channels exactly where I had left him when I hurried out.

"Where do you want to go for breakfast?" I asked him as we rode the elevator down to the ground floor.

"I don't know..." He gave me a half-amused half- chagrined look, "I haven't been out to breakfast for a long time. Hilde and I used to go occasionally..." His voice drifted off and I cursed at myself.

"We'll find someplace," I led him off at a brisk pace down the sidewalk.

We managed to find a coffee shop about a block away and secured a table by the window. I was glad. Duo was amusing himself by making up stories about the people passing by, so the conversation was not all on my shoulders.

Which was really good, since I was still trying to figure out a good way to bring up Hilde's marriage. 'Oh, hey Duo guess what?' was not going to work...

The waitress brought our menus, promised us coffee and vanished with brisk efficiency. I reminded myself to tip her well.

Duo returned to staring out the window. "Look at that girl with all those books. How can she carry so many? Do you think she knows some secret art of book stacking? Library-fu or something like that?"

"Maybe. Did you decide what you wanted?"

"Uh huh." He answered absently, smile gone again as he stared blankly out the window.

I wondered if he was trying to distract himself, and sighed. If I had known about the Hilde breakfast thing I would not have suggested going out. It pained me to think that I had inadvertently hurt him.

Our waitress returned with the promised coffee, took our orders and vanished once more. Maybe she knew some kind of martial arts skill too. I commented on this to Duo, who immediately grinned.

"Serving-Fu. Don't make her mad. I bet she can use a plate to slice someone's head off twenty meters away."

"Imagine what she could do with spatulas," I added, happy to see Duo smiling again.

"Or frying pans," he laughed and leaned back in his seat. I took a sip of my coffee as we settled into silence. Duo was watching me over the rim of his coffee cup, consideringly. I took another sip of coffee, nervous now.

Okay. I had his attention. How do I start?

"What's going on Heero?"

I looked at him in surprise.

"Something's up," he continued, putting his coffee cup down on the table. "You always work on your days off. It doesn't bother you when I do the same. Something's going on- what is it?"

"You're overworking yourself," I countered bluntly. "You didn't even remember how you got home last night. I'm worried about you okay?"

The look he gave me then made me flush.

He sighed. "So, I guess it must be bad if you're noticing, huh?"

"That's what Quatre said." The waitress appeared with our food. After assuring her that we were fine, I continued: "I called him because I was worried that you were getting depressed again."

He picked up his fork and poked at the food on his plate. I waited, unsure of how to continue. "I don't mean to worry you, " he finally said.

I noticed he didn't deny the depression.

"I know you don't," I told him. "But I'm your friend and I want to help. I know I'm no Quatre..."

"I don't want you to be," he interrupted. "I like you just the way you are."

Why did that sentence suddenly make me so happy?

"So, is that the only reason that I'm getting breakfast?" He continued. "Are you going to ask me to move out or something too?"

"I don't want you to move out." I blinked. "You're a considerate roommate Duo. I don't care if you stay with me permanently."

It was his turn to flush. I didn't see where I had said anything that should've sparked that reaction- maybe he had been thinking that I was going to throw him out?

I took a deep breath. He had asked what was going on, I needed to tell him.

"There was one other thing though." I put my fork down carefully. "When I called Quatre last night to talk to him about you, he had some news."

"Bad news, I take it?" Duo smiled faintly. "Just tell me Heero."

I took a deep breath.

"Hilde's married."

Duo put his coffee cup down with a slight thump. He stared at me, silently for a long time while I searched for something to say.

"It was a few days ago. She's known him for a month. Cathy keeps in contact with her, so she knew about it, I guess it was a pretty quick kind of thing. Quatre didn't give me a lot of details..." I closed my mouth and waited. Babbling was not going to help. Duo had not moved. I reached out a cautious hand and touched his wrist. "Duo?"

"Why didn't she call me?" He said softly, almost to himself. "I thought we were supposed to be friends... why didn't she tell me herself?"

I didn't know the answer, nor did I presume to understand Hilde. I stayed quiet, my hand on Duo's wrist, waiting. He sat, staring at me, his normally expressive face blank.

It worried me. I had expected anger, sadness, something. Not this strange blankness...

Duo's hand moved under mine, his fingers reaching around my wrist with a tight grip.

"Heero... I can't sit here..." It was a faint whisper.

I squeezed back and let go of his hand. I pulled out my wallet, tossed money on the table to cover both of our uneaten breakfasts and tip our poor waitress. I got to my feet, pulled Duo up and out of his seat and got us outside.

"Where?" I asked him.

"Home," he replied, still in a whisper.

He stayed close beside me all the way back, and I wished with all my heart that I had waited for Quatre. Quatre would've handled this way better than I had. He would've at least waited until Duo had eaten his breakfast...

Once the apartment door closed behind us I half expected Duo to go and hide in the bed again. I was relieved when he dropped down onto the sofa. Lia and Liam jumped up next to him, purring loudly, sensing his distress.

I sat down beside him and hesitantly opened my arms. Duo immediately leaned into me, wrapping his arms around my waist.

We sat silently. I didn't expect tears, the last time I had held him like this, when he had arrived on my doorstep, he hadn't shed any tears. I just held him, feeling him shiver, even in the warmth of our apartment and wished that I could do something for him. Something to help him. I didn't want Duo in pain. I didn't want him hurt.

The sudden realization was like being thrown into an ice-cold pool of water.

I loved him.

_Damn it_.

I must've done something- squeezed Duo or grunted or something, because he tilted his head back and looked at me.

"Heero?"

"Hm?" I replied, still in shock.

"You said 'Damn it'."

As long as that was all I had said. "Just thinking that I suck at this. I'm sorry Duo. I should've let Quatre tell you..."

"No," Duo put his head back down. "I'm glad you told me." I heard him chuckle lightly. "You'll let me mope for awhile. Quatre won't. I'm sure he's got a lecture ready for me already."

"What do you think he's going to say?"

"That I'm being an idiot. So what if Hilde's married? Was I really still in love with her? No. It doesn't mean that there's anything wrong with me just because she found someone else to marry so quickly and I haven't found anyone..." His voice dropped off.

"And there isn't you know." I told him. "How could you have met anyone working all the hours that you do?"

"Figures," he muttered, butting his head into my chest. "You would manage to get in a bit about overworking. I'm just trying to make it easier for you..." He stopped and I felt him tense. He hadn't meant to say that.

Was Duo working harder to make things easier for me? Why?

"You're just trying to win that partner of the year award," I teased, and felt him relax. So his overwork _was_ due to me.

"That's right." He sat up and I let him go. "Did Quatre say when he was coming over?"

"Nope. He was just going to clear some time for you."

"I think I'll call him and get it over with." Duo sighed. "Poor Quatre has got to be getting tired of coming over to beat some sense into me." He got to his feet and headed towards the phone.

I watched him as he picked up the phone and dialed, my thoughts in a confused jumble.

I loved Duo. Not that I could or would ever tell him that. Not only was I was too damaged to ever consider any kind of romantic relationship with anyone, but Duo would definitely not be interested. I had never seen him display any interest whatsoever in his own gender. Duo relied on me to be his best friend, to support him and be there for him. I was not going to jeopardize that.

Plus, I had said or done something that had convinced Duo that he needed to overwork himself. It explained why so much of my work had ended up on his desk these last months. What it was I had no idea, but now that I knew, I was going to put a stop to it. Duo needed more free time to go out and meet other people, be social, find someone that made him happy.

I had to help Duo. Somehow.


	3. Duo again

Disclaimer: Gundam Wing is not mine.

Many thanks and hugs to all of you that reviewed!

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I flung open the apartment door. "We're home!" I called and Lia and Liam came running up to meow at us. I dropped my bag next to the door, took Heero's from him and pushed him in the direction of the bedroom. "Hot shower," I told him. He had to be aching after that long shuttle ride in the condition he was in.

He didn't argue, just headed off, limping a bit. Lia followed him for a few steps, then came back to join Liam at my feet.

"Did you miss us sweeties?" I leaned down to pet them. "You can't act like no one gave you any attention. Trowa was taking care of you." Which reminded me that I needed to call and tell him we were back.

Our mission to L4 had been a bitch. First nearly two weeks of trainings, classes, and all kinds of other stuff for staff up there. I despised being a 'resident expert' sometimes. Then the mission that we had been sent up there for in the first place. Heero was bruised from head to toe. We ended up having to crawl through a vent to get in place for the raid. Heero had ended up falling out of it, thanks to some rookies who decided to start the party a bit early in the wrong place. The explosion had knocked him out of the vent and down to a concrete floor. He hadn't broken anything, amazingly enough, which was the only reason that I hadn't ripped the rookies apart.

I lifted our bags back up and headed down to the bedroom.

The shower was on, steam beginning to fill the bathroom. Heero was pulling clothes out of his dresser, his shirt off, looking battered and bruised.

"Shit," I swore putting the bags down by our respective dressers as I ran my eyes over his torso. "Maybe we should take you in to Sally..." He turned around and shrugged.

"It's okay," he told me. "It's not as bad as it looks."

"You sure? You look like someone went after you with a two by four. At least take some pain meds okay?"

"Hn." He nodded and headed to the bathroom. I began to unpack my bag, sorting clothes, and thinking dark thoughts about the idiots that inadvertently injured my partner.

I turned to put some clothes in the dresser. And stopped.

Heero had forgotten to close the bathroom door behind him. Granted the steam was pretty thick in there, but still...

Bruised or not, he had a great body.

I shook myself. Staring at Heero in the shower was not a Good Idea. Still... my gaze drifted back... He had definitely added some muscles in the years since the war ended. I remembered how I used to wait for him to get out of the showers back then, enjoying my one little glimpse...

Stop it! I turned my back on the shower and decided that now was a good time to go and check my email. Yeah. We had been on L4 for three weeks, busy every minute it seemed like, not much time for personal stuff. Heero had finished up his projects before he left and had not taken any new ones because we hadn't known how long it was all going to be.

We'd still be there, except for that rookie screw up. The head of the Preventers on L4 had been very apologetic and told us that he'd handle the rest. Une had agreed with him, so we were home and off work for a few days.

I put the laptop on the coffee table, turned it on, and waited for it to boot up, lounging on the loveseat, mind wandering back to Heero.

He was on to me. That day I had found out about Hilde's marriage I had let the work thing slip, idiot that I was. The week that we'd had in the office before we left for L4 had been interesting. I'd go through my stuff and steal his, only to find out that some of the stuff on his desk was mine. Heero hadn't out and out said anything, never accused or blamed, he had just started using my tactics against me.

I needed new ones. I didn't want Heero to quit the Preventers.

Which was just plain selfish of me. He didn't like his job. Maybe I should encourage him to quit...

I pushed down a small flare of panic at the thought of having to work without Heero watching my back. I didn't trust any of the others to do that for me. Not that I had been so great at it this last time...

The computer beeped at me and I clicked on my inbox. There was sure to be a few messages from Quatre or Howard, but that was more than likely...

I blinked.

204 messages.

I didn't know that many people! What the hell? There was no way any spam had gotten through- not with Heero's precautions.

I scrolled down, not recognizing any of the names and frankly disturbed by the subject headers. The mildest ones were things like 'Hey Duo! Let's get together!' Most of them though bordered on pornographic. What the hell?

At the very bottom of the list was my clue. 'Welcome to Partners! Your online matchmaking service!"

Okay, someone was going to die. Who had signed me up for this?

I opened the welcome email and read the cheerful little message about how I was going to find the partner of my dreams through the wonders of the internet! There was a link to take me to my profile page and horrified by this point, I clicked it.

Someone was not just going to die. I was going to torture them first.

My profile had a picture of me taken at Quatre's house by the pool. I was in my swimsuit... of all the ones to pick! Once I got over that humiliation, I read my personality profile with growing dismay.

I was fun to be around, I had a good sense of humor and apparently I was a very good kisser.

Who the hell wrote this?

"What's wrong Duo?" Heero stood in the hallway entrance, clad only in his pajama pants, toweling his hair dry. "You're glaring at the computer. What did it do?" He looked tired. I hoped it was the pain medication and not because he'd managed to overdo it.

"I'm going to kill someone. Quatre I think."

"Why?" Heero walked over to join me on the loveseat, leaning over my shoulder to see the screen. He scanned the page, and then clicked on the bottom link to bring up my list of 'interested people'. "Looks like you have quite a list to choose from."

My eyes ran down the list, each complete with a little picture... whoa! Apparently my bathing suit was pretty tame for this site.

"I don't think I want to choose from this list!" I protested.

"But Duo, you said you wanted to find someone."

"And I do," I admitted. "But not this way." I went back to the inbox and began deleting emails. Heero yawned.

"Sorry. Took the meds. What could be wrong with this way?" Heero straightened up and returned to drying his hair. Damn, he was distracting... half dressed... damp... sleepy from the meds... I went back to deleting.

"Well, first, I like making a more personal connection, and secondly..." I clicked back on the profile page. "This isn't accurate."

"What part of it?" Heero frowned. "That's a recent picture, isn't it?"

"Yeah, but the personality profile is wrong."

Heero scanned the screen again. "Duo, you are fun to be around and you do have a good sense of humor."

That was nice of him of him to say, but still...

"But I'm not a good kisser and it doesn't mention any of my bad points." I went back to deleting email. Once I finished that I was going to delete that profile and send a message off to Quatre. Wait til I got my hands on him!

"Not a good kisser?" Heero repeated blankly.

"Nope. Hilde complained all the time." I told him as cheerfully as I could manage. Maybe that's why she fell out of love with me? I had thought she was teasing me about it but maybe she was being honest. I frowned for a moment before I remembered that Heero was watching me. Too late.

"One person's opinion. How many others did you get?"

"She's the only one that offered one. I kissed one other person, but he was not the type to make comments."

"He?" Heero blinked.

"Hmm," I nodded. "One of the sweepers when I was with G. He was cute, it was his last day, so I cornered him behind Howard's desk and kissed him. All he said was thank you." I shrugged. "Hilde had to kiss me more often, so I think her opinion should count."

Heero was shaking his head for some reason.

I finished deleting the rest of the emails and went back to the profile. There had to be some way of deleting it... but all I could find was an edit key... maybe I could blank it out?

I went to the edit page, but I could not remove the picture or my name. Well, I could hack the site or...

Grinning, I began to re-type the personality profile.

"Hmmm, let's see. I'm moody, irritable, loud, obnoxious and a lousy kisser..."

"Duo!" Heero protested. "Okay, yes, make it more honest if you like, but don't discourage people. Could it really hurt to go out and meet someone?"

"I guess not," I admitted. "But Heero, really, I'm being honest. This way they know all the bad stuff first."

"You're being stubborn," he huffed. "Fine. Leave the moody and loud on there, but take off the rest."

"But I am a lousy kisser." I protested stubbornly.

"Only according to Hilde."

"And where am I supposed to get another opinion?" I questioned. "Should I just go around and ask people to kiss me and fill out a card afterwards about it?" I knew I was being annoying, pushing his buttons.

"Duo..."

"Or maybe I could go to a kissing school, take some classes..." I knew that he was tired.

"Duo..."

"Or set up a booth somewhere, pay people to kiss me and give an opinion, like a survey kind of thing..." I knew that he was under the influence so to speak.

"Duo..."

"Honestly, Heero, I'm sure I'm just not very good at it..." I knew I would get some kind of reaction out of him. I just wasn't expecting the one I got.

A hand touched my chin, tugged my head around and then Heero's lips were on mine.

Warm, firm, gentle... oh gods... He opened my lips, slipping his tongue inside... I may be lousy at this but Heero was very very good... His hand slipped around to the nape of my neck, caressing and holding me in place while his mouth gently ravaged mine.

He was overwhelming my senses, his hands were moving, and I knew I was moaning into his mouth, leaning into him... his lips moved off mine and down the side of my neck, finding the sensitive spots, and I was lost...

Then he was gone.

I blinked, trying to regain my senses. It took a few moments. Heero was curled up into the corner of the couch, arms wrapped around his knees, pounding his head against them...

"Sorry Duo, I'm sorry..." over and over.

I moved closer, reaching out to stop his head and he flinched at my touch.

"Heero?" He looked at me, eyes wide and panicked.

"I lost control. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to take it that far. I was just trying to shut you up, but you were so responsive, and my training took over and I couldn't stop.. I'm sorry..."

"It's okay!" I assured him, panicked a bit myself at this point. I had never seen Heero like this. "Heero, you didn't hurt me. Relax. I was being annoying..." and I would be again if it meant he'd kiss me like that. Oh yes.

I mentally slapped myself.

"I didn't hurt you?"

"Heero, how can you hurt someone just by kissing them?"

I forgot. I forgot that Heero had been trained to hurt someone this way. Because he started to answer me, to list all the ways that you could hurt someone- just with your mouth...

"Stop it." I put one of my hands over his mouth, thought better of it, went to move it, realized Heero would take that the wrong way, and left it in place. Heero would not hurt me.

"You didn't hurt me. Not even close. I'm seriously considering asking you for lessons, that was so good."

Lessons sounded like a great idea.

I wrenched my mind back on track and took my hand off of Heero's mouth. "See? I'm fine. I'm the one that should be apologizing to you. It's been a hellish few days, you're exhausted and hurt and I was pushing it. So I'm sorry, okay? Go to bed, get some rest, and I promise I'll be less annoying in the morning."

Heero went off without further protest. I sat on the sofa and closed down my machine. I'd deal with all this in the morning.

I stared at the closed laptop, brain whirling.

I would not deny that I was seriously in lust with Heero Yuy. The man was simply gorgeous. He was also my best friend, and the one that I had promised myself that I was going to help. I was failing miserably at it. He had caught on to my work scheme and I hadn't done anything to help him with his fear of relationships.

A little voice in my head pointed out all kinds of ways to make Heero more comfortable with the physical parts of a relationship. I told my libido to take a walk. Heero didn't need me using him to make myself feel better.

Maybe after I strangled Quatre for the whole signing me up with a dating service, I could ask him for help. I was feeling a bit over my head.

I got to my feet and headed for bed.

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When I woke up the next morning, Heero was already gone. I didn't hear the shower running, there was no music on, no clacking of computer keys... Heero usually makes some kind of noise.

Oh no, I thought I had told him last night everything was fine... I jumped out of bed and pounded down the hallway, stopping when I caught sight of Heero, sitting at the breakfast table, reading the paper. He looked up at me, turned faintly pink, and nearly vanished behind his paper.

"Good morning Duo," he said hesitantly.

"Morning Heero." I walked over to him and ruffled his hair. "Feeling better this morning?"

He nodded, still watching me warily, afraid and nervous. I sighed.

"Heero, I told you last night I was being damn annoying. I was ticked off and taking it out on you. It was totally my fault, I'm sorry and no, one last time, you did not hurt me. I was totally serious about the lessons. People would pay you to kiss them like that."

I sure as hell would. If he just _kissed_ like that- imagine what he'd be like... I yanked my mind out of the gutter.

Heero turned pinker, which was very cute. I didn't think I'd ever seen that embarrassed blush before.

"So, it's all okay buddy. Right?"

He nodded and I saw his shoulders relax. Good.

I walked over to my laptop and booted it up. Then went back to the kitchen for some coffee.

"I was thinking- maybe I should sign Quatre up for that service- you know, revenge kind of thing..."

Heero put the paper down.

"Duo- what if it wasn't Quatre?"

"Oh, it has to be Quatre." I took my coffee back to the computer and plopped down on the floor in front of it. "No one else would think that signing me up for a dating service would be a good idea..."

I opened my inbox. A few dozen more messages... didn't people have anything better to do?

"But Duo, you said you wanted to meet someone..."

I froze. Heero's voice was continuing on in the background, but I couldn't hear him.

Hilde had emailed me.

I opened the email cautiously, wondering what had prompted her to write. I mean, she had gotten married without so much as a phone call...

I scanned the email. Tried to remember to breathe.

Heero's voice got closer.

"Duo? Duo- are you listening?"

A hand waved in front of my face. I grabbed it and pulled it down closer to me, knowing on the other end was a body to hang on to.

Heero let me grab a hold of him, even as he leaned forward and read the email on my screen.

_'Hey Duo! I'm sorry that I haven't written you sooner, but I thought it would be best to give things a little time! I'm sure that you've heard through the grapevine that I got married. I'm sorry I didn't let you know, but it was a whirlwind kind of thing- we got so caught up in each other we kinda forgot to let people know. I know it was probably shocking to hear that I married BC- I guess I just have a thing for Sweeper guys!_

_Anyway, the point of all this- BC and I decided that it wasn't fair to just run off and get married like that. His parents were mad and so were Howard and the guys. So, we decided that we're going to have a real wedding next month. I'd like to invite you to the wedding- BC and I would love to have you there to share the day with us. I've attached the invite to this email! Please say you'll be there! Love, Hilde.'_

"Who is BC?" Heero asked.

"An old friend of mine from the Sweepers. He'd come over for dinner all the time- kind of like you did. He and Hilde always got along real well..." I blinked.

"Quatre said she married someone she'd only known for a month."

"Maybe the wires got crossed somewhere," I shrugged. "Doesn't matter right?"

"Do you want to go?"

I thought about it. No. I did not want to go. I did not want to watch Hilde get married to BC- even if it was the second time.

What was bothering me so much about this? Did I still love Hilde? Was I jealous that she found someone and I hadn't? That she was getting married so quickly after putting me off for years? Did I think that she'd been seeing BC behind my back and the month thing was just to throw off the rest of us?

Course it didn't help that BC was six feet tall, built like a linebacker, gorgeous, had supportive family... complete opposite of me.

But... BC was a decent guy. Hilde and I had our differences- but she was a decent girl. Neither one would deliberately hurt me. Hell, Hilde was going to marry me anyway despite the fact she'd fallen out of love with me just because she said she would... I was glad I had confronted her about that. We would have been miserable.

It was all for the best. So why did I feel so awful?

I put my head on Heero's shoulder. It hurt. I couldn't puzzle it out and I really didn't want to. I didn't want to be logical. I just wanted to curl up in Heero's arms and let him hold me. I wanted to mope. I wanted to be depressed.

I couldn't be depressed. That would just worry the others, Heero especially.

Shake it off, I told myself. You can't do this. Heero is already worried, Quatre is signing you up for dating services... god only knows what will happen if Trowa and Wufei decide to help too.

I lifted my head up, but Heero didn't let me go.

"You going to be okay?" He asked.

"Hell if I know." That didn't seem to reassure him.

"What can I do?"

I had to check my first response. I very nearly told him to kiss me again, take me to bed, do whatever the hell he wanted with me, even if it hurt, anything that would take my mind off this and make me feel needed. Wanted...

Was that what was wrong with me?

"Duo?"

"Sorry," I made an effort and let go of him. "That just kind of came at me out of left field. I wasn't expecting it."

"I know." His hand stroked over my braid.

"I'll be okay," I told him and wondered if it was true.

"Of course you will be," Heero sounded so positive. As if it was a foregone conclusion.

"If you say so, then I will be." I smiled for him, knowing that it looked false. "Thanks man. I really appreciate you putting up with all this..."

He frowned slightly. "You're my friend Duo- isn't that what I'm supposed to do?"

"And you are a great friend." I was the lousy one. I hadn't managed to help Heero at all, and now all I was doing was worrying him, but I couldn't help it...

Heero's frown vanished and was replaced by a faint smile.

"Am I really?"

"The best." The smile increased a bit and I began to feel guiltier. Hadn't I ever told him before?

"Are you sure?"

"Of course Heero. You're the best friend I could ask for..." He was too. Better than I deserved.

"Then you won't be mad at me?" The smile was now a grin.

"Mad about what? You haven't done anything..." Was he talking about the kiss? Hadn't I reassured him that it was okay? "I don't think I could be mad at you for anything for very long..." Heero eased himself to his feet.

"I signed you up for that dating service."

He... WHAT?

"YOU?" I tried to get to my feet and stumbled in the process. "Heero! How could you do that to me!" I glared at him once I managed to find my footing. Heero didn't seem intimidated.

"I'm your friend Duo, I was only trying to help."

"You jerk!" Why was he still smiling? Smug bastard!

"But Duo, that service is the most popular one on the web, according to Jude at HQ..."

"You asked Jude? Playboy Jude? Sleep with anything that breathes Jude?" I know my voice was louder. What was Heero doing talking to Jude? The flash of jealousy surprised me.

"He seemed the most logical choice." I gave that part of it up.

"Why that picture?"

"It is the most recent one we have."

Of course, only Heero would take that recent thing seriously.

"And all that garbage you wrote?"

"According to the latest research people look for a sense of humor, want someone fun to be around..."

"You looked up research!" I was torn- did I smack him or laugh? Only Heero...

"There is a lot of it. And according to Jude, everything rests on the whole kissing thing-"

I was not going to let Heero talk to Jude again. Ever. God only knows what other devious schemes he might devise to 'help me' after this!

Wait a second here-

"You didn't talk to Jude about me did you?"

"No, of course not. I told him it was for my own information. He told me that he'd be more than happy to help me out..."

Of course he would. I knew just how. I frowned.

"Heero, promise me that you won't ever ask Jude for help again."

"If you don't want me to..."

"I don't want you too."

"Then I won't." His smile was still there. "Want breakfast?"

"Sure..." Heero turned and went back to the kitchen, leaving me blinking after him. Why was he so happy? I should sign him up for that service... I turned back to my computer. Hilde's email was still on the screen. I stared at it for a minute and decided that I could deal with it later. Darn thing had nearly sent me back down into a depression. If Heero hadn't of mentioned the dating service...

Then it hit me.

Damn it. That's why he'd been smiling. He snapped me out of it.

Sneaky jerk.


	4. Back to Heero

Disclaimer: Gundam Wing is not mine.

Many hugs and thanks to the patient reviewers…

And, yes, the ending may be abrupt- but Duo has been doing some thinking... as Chpt. 5 will hopefully explain.

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I had halfway expected Duo to kill me.

Well, not kill in the literal sense, but certainly be a bit more furious than he was. All he had done was told me that I needed to get his profile off that site- and if I didn't, he post one for me there. And get "highly creative" in the profile section.

I acquiesced, easily enough, and after breakfast I took his profile down and sent an email to Quatre while I was at it. He had been in on my little scheme. We hadn't really thought that it would work, but you never knew with Duo- he was pretty unpredictable. Even as he was threatening me, he had a half smile on his face, as though something either touched or amused him. Whatever it was got me off the hook.

I sat at my computer as Duo washed dishes, and looked at my inbox. All my computing jobs were finished up. I had some offers of new ones waiting there for me and I wondered if I shouldn't refuse them. Closing my programming business down wouldn't take too much effort and I have more time to keep an eye on Duo. I didn't want to get so wrapped up in my work again that I wouldn't see what was going on with him. If I really wanted to help him, I'd need to pay better attention.

Quatre and I had a few more ideas to get Duo out and seeing people, and I wanted to make sure I had the time to do the pushing. If I wasn't working, Duo couldn't use me as an excuse to get out of going.

I sighed. This whole thing was harder than I thought. I had been relieved that he'd emptied the inbox without looking at the offers, yet irritated at the same time that he wasn't even trying.

Duo needed someone. He needed someone to love him exclusively and take care of him. I loved him, only him, but I couldn't take care of him. Not in all the ways that he needed. I knew I was going to be irrational about Duo's dates, I knew no one was going to seem good enough. That's why I had asked Quatre for help. Quatre could be rational where I couldn't be.

Duo finished with the dishes and came to lean over my chair, an old habit of his from the war. "You have a few offers," he noted. "Which are you going to take?"

"I was thinking about not taking any of them." I told him honestly.

"Why?"

"Working two jobs is a bit excessive. I don't need the extra money..."

"And you'd stop this rather than quit Preventers?" There was a tone I couldn't identify in Duo's voice.

"The Preventers need me more."

I heard Duo take a deep breath. When I tilted my head back to look at him, he looked guilty. Why? Before I could ask, the phone rang.

Duo answered it.

"Quatre!"

Oh good. I tuned out their conversation and began writing the emails to turn down the computer programming jobs.

Duo appeared behind my chair again a few minutes later.

"How are you feeling this morning? Still kinda bruised?"

"Achy." I admitted. "Not too bad though. Why?"

"Do you want to go out tonight with Q, Tro and I?"

"Out where?"

"Dancing."

Ah. I knew this Quatre plan.

"No thank you," I replied. The last thing I wanted to do was go out and watch Duo hit on/be hit on by other people. Quatre and Trowa were a much better choice. Once Duo was dating someone it'd be easier, I hoped, but this whole mating ritual thing would be too much.

"Are you sure? You're going to abandon me to the lovebirds?"

"Duo, I've seen you at a club- I doubt you'll be alone for long."

I had seen Duo at clubs- either when we'd gone out with everyone, or when we'd been on undercover work. Duo was always popular, always a magnet for admiring gazes.

"I know. You could come along with me and glare at anyone who got too close."

"Isn't that the whole point of going?" I asked, turning to face him.

"No. I go to have fun and dance." Duo narrowed his gaze. "I think I know what you're insinuating Yuy and I don't like it."

Damn. He was kind of on to me. "But if you're at a club, they'll be lots of single... people there." I suggested hopefully. Might as well play into it. Maybe it will put the idea in his head at least.

"Don't even think about it." Duo frowned. "I'm taking a page from your book. Maybe I'm not cut out for it."

What? "You know why I don't date. That doesn't apply to you..."

"You didn't hurt me. I bet you have better control than you thought." Duo leaned over, well into my personal space. "Did you want to hurt me?"

"No!"

"Were you thinking about it?"

In all honesty, I hadn't been thinking of much at all. Duo had been so responsive...

"Heero?"

"No, I wasn't." I admitted. Duo's lips quirked into a smile.

"Maybe it's not as bad as you're thinking..." he suggested.

I met his eyes, and for a moment was tempted to pull his mouth down to mine. To taste him, feel the warmth of his skin under my tongue.

My mouth went dry as another memory intruded. The coppery taste of blood, the feel of skin under my nails, the screams...

I closed my eyes and his image sprang in front of my eyes. Red hair damp with blood- screaming...

"Heero!" Hands were on my shoulders, shaking me. I opened my eyes and found Duo's face even closer. "Heero! You okay?"

I could still hear him screaming... Jian... even after he had nothing left to scream with...

"It was bad," I told him, feeling myself start to shake. "Really bad. I can't... If I did that to someone else..."

Duo straddled my lap, putting his arms around my shoulders, holding me close. I hung onto him.

"Talk to me?"

"I can't." I didn't want him to know this.

"Heero. Tell me." Duo is stubborn. "You're scaring me."

"He-" I had to take another breath. "J called it a final exam for that part of my training. There were two of us. Our instructions- only one could walk out."

I couldn't tell him more. I couldn't.

Duo didn't press me. He just held me until I stopped shaking. Then he leaned back and looked at me carefully. "You okay?"

"Yes." I lied.

"Hm." He was frowning. "Heero-I know you don't want to talk about it, but..."

"Duo-" I started and he shook his head.

"Look. When we first talked about it, you said that you had been trained in several different things- tor... uh... hurting was just one..."

"The main one."

"Of course. But not the only one. You said your training could be used to manipulate or seduce your target. That doesn't sound like it involved hurting someone physically."

"It didn't."

"Maybe if you aren't using it to hurt, but for one of the other areas, the bad part of your training won't kick in. Have you thought of that?"

I hadn't actually. But then I had never used any of my training in that at all. Not after the 'exam'.

Duo hugged me again then got off of my lap. "Just think about it okay?"

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The rest of the day passed uneventfully enough. Duo spent most of it curled up with a book on the sofa. Without any projects to do, I spent most of my time puttering around the apartment, doing the laundry, ordering groceries, playing with the cats, all the time thinking about what Duo had said.

Was it so easy? Somehow I didn't think so. But I wanted it to be. If I could touch someone like that- without hurting them- then maybe I could be what Duo needed.

It was too risky. Too much was at stake. What if my control wasn't good enough? What if I automatically slid into the other mode?

Jian screamed in my head again.

I shivered. I didn't want to hear Duo scream like that. Better to stay his friend. In a few months he'd find someone else, maybe move out of the apartment... how that thought hurt. What was I going to do?

Duo and I had a fairly quiet dinner, talking only about the case we had just finished and the ones waiting for us.

He helped me carry the dishes to the sink, and before I could turn the water on, he turned me around to face him and sank to his knees in front of me, hands clasped pleadingly before his chest.

"Oh please, kind beloved friend, will you not reconsider your plans this evening? Will you not go with me and lend me your strong right arm to beat the perverts off with?"

I had to laugh. "Duo, your arm is strong enough all on it's own. Besides- my arm is not detachable."

"Then I will take all of you," he continued on, not missing a beat. "I need you to go with me and protect me not only from the perverts, but also from our dear misguided friends who will try and throw people at me all night!" Duo slapped the back of his hand to his forehead and placed the other one over his heart. "You would not leave me to their misguided matchmaking attempts..." He gave me a brief glare. "As you do KNOW how much I hate them!"

"And I hate clubs. You know that. I always feel out of place."

"You never look it. And you owe me Yuy! C'mon... please? It will be fun..." Duo widened his eyes, looking pitiful. "You know that Trowa and Quatre will be off dancing and I'll be all by myself..."

"Not for long." I countered. Duo sighed and got to his feet.

"Heero- please? I really want you to go." No teasing, no pleading- just wistful now... and I couldn't turn him down.

"All right."

"Thanks!" He hugged me tightly for a minute. "We'll have fun!"

I doubted that, but it was worth it to see him smile. I followed him back to the bedroom to get ready, mentally preparing myself for the trial ahead.

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Quatre had picked a nice place to go clubbing- nice meaning that the music wasn't too loud- though we still had to raise our voices over the beat. There were tons of tables and the dance floor was actually pretty small. More people were talking than dancing.

Duo raised an eyebrow as he scanned the club. "How- sedate of you Quatre."

"This club is more of a hang-out than a dance place," Quatre smiled. "Thought you'd like it better. Easier to talk to people."

Duo shook his head slightly, easily catching the implied hint behind Quatre's statement, but he didn't reply.

We found a table in a corner far enough away from the dance floor and the speakers that all we had to do was lean close and we could talk in our normal ranges. Trowa fetched the first round of drinks. I sipped mine as I listened to the others talk. Quatre was deftly drawing attention to various people in the club. Duo kept switching back to other topics.

When the cute redhead approached our table though, Duo lost the battle.

"Hi!" She chirped. "Any of you guys wanna dance?"

"He does," Quatre, Trowa and I replied in unison, pointing at Duo.

Duo looked surprised, blinking at the three of us. Then he grinned. Laughing, he got to his feet and followed the girl to the dance floor.

"How's Duo doing?" Quatre leaned over the table. "Hilde's wedding news shook him, didn't it?"

"It did. Like I said in my email- I guess he knows the guy. He said that this guy was all the things that Duo wasn't..." I sighed.

Quatre frowned.

"We can't fix this for Duo," Trowa said, placing a hand on Quatre's arm. "We can only stand by him and give him little pushes." He glanced towards the dance floor where Duo was dancing with the redhead.

"I know." Quatre sighed.

"Come dance with me." I saw Quatre glance my way and I made a shooing gesture with my hand. They headed for the dance floor moments later.

I watched as they danced- Duo with several different partners, and thought things that I made sure never reached my face.

Several songs later Duo made his way back to the table.

"Don't let anyone take me back there," he told me dramatically.

"Why not? Several of them looked like nice girls."

"I'm sure they were," he grinned at me. "But I noticed you didn't dance with any of the ones that stopped to ask you..."

"I'm guarding the table."

"Is that what you told them?" He raised an eyebrow.

"Yes."

"Lame, Yuy."

"It worked." I pointed out.

"Good. That's my excuse then too."

"It doesn't take two people to watch a table."

"I'm your partner. You might need backup."

And Duo didn't budge again. He sat next to me at the table, despite all of our pushes to go back out and dance or at the very least talk to some of the interested parties.

He said that he'd rather spend his time with his friends than waste it with people he didn't know. We tried several tactics, but none of them worked.

Quatre looked more amused than upset by the end of the evening, though, and I wondered why. He and Trowa dropped us off and bid us good night. Duo was yawning pretty heavily by the time we got to our floor, and I was feeling tired as well.

"Well, that was fun, right?" I asked as we entered the apartment.

"It was okay." Duo shrugged. "I can think of better ways to spend the evening though."

"Like how?" I asked as I followed him down the hallway towards the bedroom. Lia and Liam blinked sleepily at us from their places on the bed as we flipped on the lights.

I saw Duo take a deep breath, visibly steeling himself.

Then he turned, quickly, pinning me against the wall.

"Like this," he said and kissed me.


	5. Duo

Disclaimer: Gundam wing is not mine.

WARTNING! With this section the story switches to R. I made the switch on the main summary as well. It was kind of inevitable but I do apologize.

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Don't fight me, I pleaded silently as I kissed Heero. Don't fight, don't fight... kiss me back.

He kissed me back.

His arms slid around my shoulders, his lips opened under mine.

Oh yes.

It had been torture earlier tonight. Stuck on the dance floor watching person after person approach the table, try to chat Heero up... swamped with relief when each one left, discouraged- angry when another one would wander up to try.

He was mine, damn it!

It wouldn't have been so bad, but earlier in the day I had finally realized what all of my protect/lust/nurture/guilt/desire feelings really were...

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It was after I had talked to Heero about his- problem. That had frightened me. He had turned white and started to shake. He hadn't been specific when he talked about his memories of training, and a part of me was glad. I didn't really want to know. Call me a coward, but I had already seen effects of J's training on Heero in other things. I was sure he had been just as through in this area. I didn't need to know details to help Heero.

And I wanted to help him with this. I didn't want him to be so afraid to reach out anymore. I wanted him to be happy.

I went to curl up on the sofa, leaving Heero alone with his thoughts. He stayed at the computer for a bit, and then he began to move around the apartment, finding small tasks to do, playing with the cats, puttering...

Because he didn't have his programming work to do. Heero was going to stick with the Preventers- with me... even though I knew he hated it. That made me feel guilty, even as it made me happy. I wouldn't have to worry about not having Heero there to cover my back. I wouldn't lose my partner.

I couldn't figure it out though- why now? Why was he giving up his other job now? Had I done something? Had that fall on the mission addled his brain?

I watched Heero over the edge of my book. He looked okay... well, a lot better than okay... he always did.

I wanted Heero.

He needed someone. Someone to take care of him, to listen to him, to be there for him. I could do that for him.

He could do that for me.

I didn't want to use him just to help me... but couldn't we help each other? I was willing to do anything to help him- and gods knew I had messed everything else up. The work thing he had caught on to- he left his other job...

Couldn't I help him with this?

Or was my libido just trying to convince me that it needed to be used? It had been a while since I had done anything like that and Heero was so very tempting...

I sighed. Altruistic I was not. Wasn't it just this morning I had been telling myself not to use Heero to satisfy myself? Now here I was trying to come up with reasons why I needed to seduce him because he had scared me this morning as he shook in my arms. Was that any kind of reason?

But... I would be good to him. It wouldn't be just about me... I would help him get through his issues, I'd make sure nothing ever hurt him like that again, I'd love him...

_I loved Heero. _

I blinked, stunned. Where had that thought come from? I poked at the idea and pieces began to fall into place.

It was the truth.

I loved Heero.

My indecision vanished with that realization.

Now all I had to do was convince him that loving me would be a good idea. I already knew he was attracted to me. That kiss last night... and then this morning when I had been teasing him, right before he freaked out I had been so sure he was going to do it again. I had wanted him to do it again.

What to do?

First things first.

I guilted him into going to the club. I was hoping to get him out on the dance floor with me, but I was outflanked. Three against one- I didn't stand a chance.

I managed to retaliate, managed to stay next to him all the rest of the night.

Quatre caught on early. I saw the amused glances he gave me, the looks he shared with Trowa. He gave up on getting me out to the floor and instead gave me plenty of time alone with Heero.

Quatre can be a good friend.

Heero didn't notice any of the subtle hints I dropped. Didn't notice how I leaned into him, didn't seem to think anything of the way I let my hand linger on his arm, his fingers...

So after we came home, I went for a frontal attack.

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Heero's mouth was doing it's magic, pulling me in, making me want to just melt in his arms.

But if I did that I wouldn't be able to hold onto him if he felt like running.

So instead I moved my mouth, letting it become acquainted with his chin, his neck, the edge of his shoulder. Heero tilted his head back, allowing me access.

I let my hands roam down his body, tugging his hips closer to mine, feeling my mouth curve into a smile. He wanted me.

I let the heat build up between us, making sure Heero was pinned firmly in my arms, but he showed no signs of trying to get away. Instead he reciprocated every caress, every kiss...

It was easy to pull him to the bed, yank clothes out of the way, spread him out beneath me, touch and taste him, listen to him moan and beg me for more...

Even easier to oblige him. To make him mine...

He climaxed quickly after that, taking me with him.

I lay gasping for breath, still feeling the shocks running over my skin, feeling Heero pant beneath me. Then he moved, faster than I knew he could, flipping me over on my back, pressing me down on the mattress. Oh! How could he still...?

His mouth moved over my skin, nipping and biting, making me gasp and moan. His fingers were rough, but exciting, making me ready for him, making me plead with him in between gasps for air.

I was more than ready when he took me, fingers digging into my hips, hard and fast, making me scream with pleasure...

Blackness was swirling in my vision, pleasure running in waves over my skin, Heero was still moving when I reached my climax again and passed out.

A loud crash brought me back to consciousness. I sat straight up.

I was alone in bed. Where was Heero?

The bathroom door was shut. The cats were in front of it meowing frantically.

I ran for the door, flinging it open. Heero stood in the middle of the bathroom, the towel rack in a twisted mess at his feet, a towel in one hand- his gun in the other.

Why did he have his gun?

"Heero?"

He looked up at me, face streaked with tears.

"I'm so sorry, Duo. So very sorry- I didn't want to hurt you. I didn't!" He raised his hand that held the gun and placed it next to his temple. "I'm sorry- I told you that I would hurt someone! Why did you let me hurt you?"

Hurt me? What the hell was he talking about?

Now was not the time to try and argue the point.

I stepped forward quickly, grabbing Heero around the waist, knowing that I wouldn't win if I went for the gun, pulling him into an embrace, placing my head next to his. I held on tightly, knowing he couldn't dislodge me without putting the gun down.

If he fired that gun now it would go through both of us.

"Heero, I don't know what the hell you are talking about. Tell me what's going on? Why do you think you hurt me?"


	6. Heero

Disclaimer: Gundam Wing is not mine.

Nearly over now….

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Screaming. Pleading. The taste of him in my mouth, the slickness under my hands. He was mine. Pure pleasure raced through me again, sweeter this time because I had been in control. I had made him _mine..._

I blinked, reason finally returning after that rush of exhilaration, and felt my stomach churn.

Duo was sprawled limply on the bed beneath me, covered in bite marks and bruises... He had been pleading with me, _screaming..._ and I hadn't stopped. His eyes were closed, and I remembered seeing them roll up in his head...

I reached up and felt the pulse point in his neck, feeling it throb reassuringly beneath my fingers. There were bite marks on his throat.

I had bit Jian's throat too.

I scrambled off the bed, away from Duo. He moaned slightly, but didn't move.

There were bruises on his hips, his ankles... more bite marks on his chest, his arms, his thighs - his lips looked swollen and bruised as well. There was a faint tang of blood in my mouth and I felt my stomach turn again...

Oh no...no...no... I closed my eyes and I could hear his voice pleading with me... screaming my name...

I had hurt him. Badly. I had lost control and hurt him. Just like I knew I would. I never should've- but he had kissed me, he had _wanted_ me and I had given in, I had wanted him too much and I hurt him...

I found myself backed up against my dresser.

I loved Duo. I wanted Duo... and who knew what the hell I might do to him... I hadn't meant to do this... When he had kissed me and touched me, I had tried to remember what he said before, had let myself enjoy his touch, waited for him to call a halt to things.

But he hadn't. He'd wanted me and I willingly gave myself to him.

But afterwards... something in me had not liked submitting. Had wanted to possess Duo in turn, and I had succumbed to it- too easily.

The gun was a reassuring weight in my hand. How had I gotten it? Did it matter?

Duo would wake up soon. What would he do? Would he hate me for this? That thought hurt. Would he move out? Refuse to see me?

Worse still- what if he forgave me for this? What if he persisted in trying again?

I couldn't risk him. He had survived this time- I don't know how- I wasn't in control of myself... but next time?

I went into the bathroom and grabbed for a towel to muffle the gunshot. The towel rack clattered at my feet. I had yanked it off the wall. I stared at it for a moment, hearing Dr. J in my head...

_"I've made you very powerful my boy. You'll have to be very careful... Don't forget what you are..." _

And then Duo was there. His voice cracking and hoarse.

"Heero?" I flinched at the sound. He didn 't sound mad. I wanted him to be mad at me. I wanted him to hate me.

"I'm so sorry, Duo. So very sorry- I didn't want to hurt you. I didn't!" I wanted him to know that much at least. "I'm sorry- I told you that I would hurt someone! Why did you let me hurt you?" Like he could've stopped me! Why was I blaming him? This was all my fault! The gun was cold against my temple.

Duo looked puzzled, then shocked, and before I knew it he was holding me tightly against himself, his head next to mine.

I couldn't fire now; it would go through both of us.

"Heero, I don't know what the hell you are talking about. Tell me what's going on? Why do you think you hurt me?"

Why do I think I hurt him? I had hurt him!

I reached out a hand to touch the bruises and then stopped myself. I couldn't touch him.

"Can't you feel what I did? Haven't you seen it?"

"Seen what?" Duo didn't move.

"Look at yourself! Listen to yourself!"

"I'm not moving until you put the gun down."

Stubborn bastard. Why was he always like this? I tried another way.

"Duo, you were screaming and I didn't stop..."

"Damn right. I would've killed you if you had."

Huh? My brain stopped whirling for a moment out of sheer confusion.

"Idiot," Duo muttered in my ear. "I was screaming because it felt good- hell no, better than good. Fantastic. I didn't want you to stop. In fact, I want you to take me back to bed and do it again."

What!

I jerked away in surprise, and Duo managed to grab my wrist. The gun was in his hand a moment later. I backed away from him, feeling the cool surface of the bathtub against the back of my legs. Duo put the gun in one of the drawers, his eyes on me the whole time.

"Ready to listen now?"

"Duo-" I gestured to him. The marks seemed even more livid now. "Look at yourself..."

He glanced at the mirror and then back at me.

"Heero, love, I know you're sensitive on this subject, but I also know that J drummed in all kinds of medical crap into that head of yours. You look at me. Really look. As a medic. Am I injured that badly?"

I looked at him carefully, and sat down on the edge of the tub.

Bruised. That's all. And the bruises were mild ones... a day or two and they'd be gone... but...

"I still hurt you. I still lost control."

Duo blew his bangs out of his face and sat down on the floor in front of me.

"You lost control?"

"Yes." Maybe he was getting it.

"And all you did was get a little rough. And I liked it." Duo stretched, a smile turning up the corners of his mouth. "So, what's the problem?"

I blinked at him.

"What if next time I really hurt you?"

The smile became a grin. He eased himself up on his knees and leaned into me. His cheek rubbed against mine, his fingers slid into my hair, and I couldn't move. My body relaxed into his caresses without any permission from me.

"So, you want a next time?" He murmured against my cheek.

Wait- wasn't this off the topic? How did he manage to do this to me?

"Because I want one." He continued, mouth moving to my ear. "And one after that. And one after that..."

"Duo! I'm serious!"

"So am I." He kissed my cheek. "Trust yourself Heero. You didn't hurt me..." I opened my mouth to protest that I had and he kissed me. Lingeringly, slowly, gently... his arms went around my waist and I gave in. I couldn't resist him.

"What if..." I started when he let me.

"You won't. Besides," he leaned his forehead against mine. "I love you. I want to be with you. You wouldn't leave me, would you?"

My chest hurt. Duo loved me? I blinked at him.

He smiled.

"Cause if you broke my heart, I'd have to go move in with Quatre and Trowa and they don't have a big bed for me to hide in, and my best friend wouldn't be there for me to look after and to watch out for me, and no one would listen to me, really listen like you do, and I'd drive my partner crazy because I'd look sad all the time, and I wouldn't have anything to do other than work, so I'd be working myself into the ground again and no one could stop me, and I'd have to..."

Duo's expression was light, but there was a dark undertone as he rambled.

He was serious. He loved me. He needed me.

Then I needed to be here for him.

"I love you too." I told him.

The smile became relieved.

"Then let's move on, okay? We've wasted too much time in the past. I love you." He pulled me to my feet. "You love me. We'll work all the rest of it out. But you have to help me."

I held him close against me for a moment. "Okay."

I would make this work- for Duo.


	7. Duo finishes up

Disclaimer: Gundam Wing is not mine.

Last chapter! Yay! Thanks for reading!

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The church benches were uncomfortable. I squirmed, wishing I could just use my accommodating boyfriend as a seat, but knowing that was not quite proper to do at the wedding of your former fiancée.

Hilde was at the altar, smiling radiantly at BC. She made a lovely bride, and I was glad that she wasn't mine. She wouldn't have been this happy at our wedding. She was glowing. I recognized that expression.

I glanced to the side. Heero was sitting next to me, looking gorgeous in his dark blue suit. He looked at me and smiled. I smiled back, feeling myself light up.

A small cough made me look in front of us where Quatre sat, looking smugly over his shoulder at us. If we hadn't been in a church I would've stuck my tongue out at him. I scowled instead, and he smirked. I wondered if I could get away with...

Heero's fingers tapped my knee. _Behave_, he meant.

I would've stuck my tongue out at him, but I knew what his usual reaction to that was, and again, it wasn't appropriate for church.

I focused on the happy couple instead. I watched as they recited their vows, kissed each other and were declared man and wife. They walked down the aisle past us and I caught Heero's eye. He raised an eyebrow at me.

I knew what that meant too. Years of being Heero's partner had let me learn him pretty well, but in the last month or so of being his lover, learning the inside of his heart I had better insight into him than before. We could communicate without a word.

It had been difficult- it still was difficult- to get Heero to relax in certain...situations. He was still afraid he would hurt me.

But we would get through it- we were getting through it.

And oh, did I love working on that area of our relationship.

I sighed happily.

Heero's arm went around my shoulders.

"Duo? Are you doing okay?" He murmured softly.

I leaned into him, letting my arm go around his waist. The wedding was over, the church was clearing out. No one was really looking at Hilde's ex-fiancé now.

"Of course. You're here."

A soft chuckle made me realize we did have an audience. Quatre was still in the row in front of us, Trowa leaning over his shoulder.

"Shut up."

"I didn't say anything," Quatre protested. "Just remembering a friend of mine who told me, oh, what- six months ago- that there was no happy ending for him anymore." He grinned.

"Don't gloat," Trowa chuckled. "We'll see you two at the reception." He steered Quatre out of their row.

"You really okay?"

"I said I was." I hugged him for a moment and then let go. "C'mon. Let's go and let Hilde and her family feed us. Then I'm going to take you home and show you how okay I am."

Heero smiled and let me pull him out of the row.

"You know," I told him as we walked down the aisle. "We should do this too, don't you think?"

He stopped dead and looked at me. "Duo?"

"Well, isn't that how happy endings usually start?"

"I thought we'd already started," he said after a moment in a serious tone that made me smile.

"Is that a no?"

"You know I can't tell you no."

"I know. I was counting on it." He pulled me close and kissed me quickly. Then he pulled back and opened his mouth. "No. Don't even say it." I stopped him. "I love you. Yes, I do want to stay with you. Nothing can make me change my mind about that. Yes, it's a bit soon, but we don't have to do it right away. I'm not going to change my mind though..."

He put a hand over my mouth. "Duo. I was going to say yes."

"No arguments?" I asked when he moved it again.

"None." He smiled wider. "Would you let me argue anyway?"

"Nope," I grinned at him. "You're mine. Might as well just accept it."

He kissed me again, gently. "I wouldn't want it any other way."


End file.
